Why Isn’t Therapy Working?
It’s a difficult feeling of defeat when we pursue counseling only to feel like it’s falling short of our expectations. Below are a few reasons this could be happening:
You haven’t given therapy enough time to work
Therapy takes time! And the timeline is different for everyone. If therapy hasn’t been feeling helpful, I’d encourage you to assess how long you’ve been working with your therapist. An incredibly helpful tool in understanding this, is your therapist. Talk with them about your expectations for improvement and progress and get their insight on the matter.
Therapy is one of168 hours in the week
The 50 minutes that you are sitting down with our therapist are hugely valuable -and- it’s only 50 minutes. Not only do you have to ensure that you’re showing up to that one hour appointment ready to engage, but you also have to think about how to implement what is learned in therapy to the other areas of your life. It’s true that there’s only so much progress that can be made by simply showing up to session - the next step is to bridge the gap between what you’re learning in therapy and how you can implement that in your daily life. Figuring out how to bridge this gap should absolutely be a collaborative effort between you and your therapist, however the action can only come from you.
Maybe it’s the modality that’s wrong
Sometimes we simply need to try a new therapeutic modality. This may call for an open conversation with your therapist about what is and isn’t working. A situation like this may also call for seeking out a new therapist if your current one isn’t well versed in modalities that could be a better fit for you. It’s also worth noting that there are times when individual therapy isn’t the best form of therapy for us. There are so many options when navigating our mental health (i.e., psychiatry, group counseling, etc.) so take some time to consider if there’s a different avenue of support that would feel more effective to you.
The therapeutic relationship is what’s not working
If therapy isn’t working you may want to take some time to assess if the relationship between you and your therapist is what’s not working. This is one of the most important factors in effective therapy so it’s not one to ignore. Sometimes we’re simply not on the same wavelength as our therapist, and other times there’s been a rupture in the relationship that can get in the way of meaningful progress. In either scenario, this is something you can talk to your therapist about in order to understand what the next best step is.
These are only a few reasons why therapy may not be working for you. In any of these cases you deserve an opportunity to really assess not only why therapy doesn’t feel effective, but what the solutions could be. Maybe it’s a matter of having a vulnerable conversation with your therapist, and maybe it calls for finding a new provider or even trying a new modality altogether. Either way, this feeling is not one to ignore - you’re spending valuable time and money on this service so it should absolutely feel like it’s helping!